The questions are here...again. Guess what? It's from women this time around.
As usual, I'm going to try my best to answer them.
As usual, I'm going to try my best to answer them.
Question 1 : Is it a warning signal if your partner claims not to remember his/her ex's name? I have fully answered every one of my boyfriend's questions about my past. But he has not been nearly as forthcoming with filling in the blanks with me on his past. He’s very vague in his explanation. Is it wrong for me to feel concerned that he either doesn’t remember his ex's name or that he simply refuses to tell me what it is? I’m having trouble believing someone could forget the name of an ex. What are your thoughts?
Answer 1: He remembers, but he wishes he didn’t. He has a scar across his heart andjust doesn’t have the emotional skills to talk about it properly or deal with the issue.
Is he telling you the whole truth? No.
Is there more to the story than you know? Definitely.
But you know what? The past is the past. If you don’t see any other big signs that this guy isn’t who you need him to be, I’d suggest you just let it go. Don’t let it put a strain on your relationship. If and when he wants to talk about it, he'll tell you without you having to ask.
Answer 1: He remembers, but he wishes he didn’t. He has a scar across his heart andjust doesn’t have the emotional skills to talk about it properly or deal with the issue.
Is he telling you the whole truth? No.
Is there more to the story than you know? Definitely.
But you know what? The past is the past. If you don’t see any other big signs that this guy isn’t who you need him to be, I’d suggest you just let it go. Don’t let it put a strain on your relationship. If and when he wants to talk about it, he'll tell you without you having to ask.
Question 2: I've been seeing my guy for almost 7 months. However he clearly has some issues around relationships and commitment. He has wanted us to stay unofficial, saying he doesn't have it in him to be a boyfriend and that relationships are only about obligation and misery. What should I do?
Answer 2: Just reading through your email it’s pretty obvious this guy is bitter and broken, doesn’t believe in “real” relationships, has had his heart shattered by either parents who hated each other or a ex-girlfriend who made spaghetti out of his emotions and generally is NOT in a place where he could be boyfriend material. Why do you refer to him as "my guy"? He isn't. He has told you he isn't ready for a serious relationship. Lucky you! Some guys don't even tell ladies this. They pretend to be serious when they aren't. He probably still hurts from his previous relationships.You say you've been seeing him for almost 7 months...what have both of you been doing then? The problem isn't what he wants. What do you want? If you don't love him and you want fun, you can stay. If you love him, don't stay. Move on. It's not your job to "fix" him and convince him to fall in love with you. So many women “commit” themselves mind, body and soul to a guy when there’s really no commitment to be had. Don't do that.
Answer 2: Just reading through your email it’s pretty obvious this guy is bitter and broken, doesn’t believe in “real” relationships, has had his heart shattered by either parents who hated each other or a ex-girlfriend who made spaghetti out of his emotions and generally is NOT in a place where he could be boyfriend material. Why do you refer to him as "my guy"? He isn't. He has told you he isn't ready for a serious relationship. Lucky you! Some guys don't even tell ladies this. They pretend to be serious when they aren't. He probably still hurts from his previous relationships.You say you've been seeing him for almost 7 months...what have both of you been doing then? The problem isn't what he wants. What do you want? If you don't love him and you want fun, you can stay. If you love him, don't stay. Move on. It's not your job to "fix" him and convince him to fall in love with you. So many women “commit” themselves mind, body and soul to a guy when there’s really no commitment to be had. Don't do that.
Question 3 : Hi Yakky. My boyfriend has suddenly pulled away. I have barely heard from him at all and when I tried to reach out to him with a few flirty texts, he responded appreciatively but didn't reciprocate or engage in anyway. I really don't think it's about other girls but it feels like he's lost interest. When I asked him what was up he said he's just been busy. Why the sudden change in behavior? What's going on with him?
Answer 3 : You tried to reach out to him with a few flirty texts? Are you serious? This doesn't sound like a problem that can be solved with flirty texts. Talk to him. Ask what the problem is. He might be having family issues, financial issues or problems at work. If he doesn't want to talk about it, don't push it. Give him time...how long is up to you. Assess yourself and your relationship. Have things been smooth or rough? The answer might lie therein.
Answer 3 : You tried to reach out to him with a few flirty texts? Are you serious? This doesn't sound like a problem that can be solved with flirty texts. Talk to him. Ask what the problem is. He might be having family issues, financial issues or problems at work. If he doesn't want to talk about it, don't push it. Give him time...how long is up to you. Assess yourself and your relationship. Have things been smooth or rough? The answer might lie therein.