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31 May 2016

The Call


I've been sitting here,
Waiting for you to call.
If at me, you throw a spear,
I'll be willing to take the fall.

My phone is yet to ring,
However, I'll wait for you.
If to me, you deception bring,
I'll know I was never your boo.

Lately, you've changed,
And I've had to keep up.
If with me, you act deranged,
I'll gladly call a garbage pickup.

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30 May 2016

Indescribable

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She was in deep pain; the pain of having a heart broken. It wasn't the 'usual' heartbreak caused by lovers. No, this was different. 

This pain was ethereal; the kind that left a crack in her heart. This pain might likely never heal, or it might, as the case may be. 

The crack in her heart was deep. It'd take more than just a soothe to heal. It might even take an infinity to heal. 

She couldn't explain this pain if you asked her. When you persisted, she'd tell you that some aches are like that, indescribable. 

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29 May 2016

Shake It Off

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Some people feel as if they're on earth to suffer, and they always live in the past. These people refuse to move forward. No matter where they find themselves, they always remember the friend that led them astray, the teacher that scored them too low, the father that molested them, the family which they never had, etc. 

You've been complaining all your life, what has it achieved for you so far? I tell you now, if you don't rise above the ashes, you'll soon be swept away by the tide. Researches propound that about 85 percent of families are dysfunctional, so you see, you're not alone. 

The crux of the matter is where you go from here. What are you going to do now? Look, you can either keep on living in the past, or you can slap yourself into good sense, and take the bull by the horn.

Enough with the regrets. Live in the now. My favourite person says life in this body is short. You don't have much time. Begin to focus all your energy on what you want to achieve. When you do this, what you don't want will begin to fade away. 

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28 May 2016

Born This Way - The Finale



There were emotional outbursts, curses and swearing. I kept my mouth agape, throughout the period momma told me the circumstances surrounding my birth. 

Momma fell in love with a man seventeen months before I was born. Everything was going smoothly between them, except for the fact that the man used to dash in and out of town. When momma asked him about these trips, the man said they were business trips. Being a woman who was deeply in love, momma believed him. 

A year after they had started dating, the man was arrested by the police. When momma went to visit him in jail after he had been charged on the grounds of rape, the man told momma he was 'sorry'. According to momma, that was all he said. The man, yes, I address him as the man because I refuse to acknowledge him as papa. My papa couldn't have been a rapist. But the man, he raped countless of women wherever he went. 

When I asked momma about his supposed 'business trips', she didn't know what to answer. The stigma of falling in love with a rapist followed momma everywhere she went. Her parents disowned her after she blatantly refuse to 'cleanse' her womb of the evil seed she carried. The evil seed which turned out to be me. 

At that moment, I felt as though a knife passed through my heart. It hurt, it really hurt. Momma said papa died in prison. I will have to live with this stigma. I'm a victim of circumstance. In my heart, I'll console myself that it wasn't my fault I was born this way. 

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27 May 2016

Born This Way - Part 3

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Or maybe she was taken aback because I had never directly asked her about my father. She gave me a look (a warning, sort of), as if I had asked the wrong question. I rolled my eyes; I didn't care. All I knew was that she'd answer my question whether she liked it or not. I had tolerated enough.

I think she saw the adamant look on my face. The next thing she did was to break into tears, and my heart broke into pieces. I felt guilty that I caused momma tears, but I needed to know the truth.

I adjusted and laid her head on my lanky laps. She sobbed like a baby, and I just kept rocking her hair. After a while, she raised her head. That was it, I could feel it. I could see it in her eyes. She was really going to tell me the story of my life. But something happened at that instant which I couldn't comprehend. I went numb. What was that?

The moment I had been waiting for fifteen years of my entire life had finally arrived, and I was terrified? I couldn't believe it. I summoned courage and brushed the feeling aside. Ironically, it was funny because I told myself I was going to hear it whether I liked it or not.

After few minutes, momma resumed the tears. I could barely hear her clearly through her sobs. In between the conversation, I'd have to wait for her to dry her tears and continue talking, but the cycle repeated itself over and over again.

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26 May 2016

Born This Way - Part 2

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She made an attempt to go to the nearby drugstore, but I told her my problem didn't need medical attention. Rather, it needed answers. She looked at me perplexed, and asked what sort of answers I needed. 

I recounted my ordeals as far back as I could remember. I started from how the other kids in church used to pinch my ears, how my nanny used to starve me after momma left for work, how I've been secluded from activities in school, how people glare at me on the road, how people whisper and point fingers at me, how even till that moment in junior high school, the kinds of things I've had to endure. I intentionally left out the 'bastard' part. 

Momma went into a frenzy. She said she would go with me to school the following day and talk to the school authorities. She asked me the names of people who looked at me with disgust in their eyes. She was going to warn all of them, she said. She asked me why I hadn't told her earlier. She asked me this and that, but ignored the obvious - she didn't ask me why I was telling her now. 

I had asked momma why people were glaring at me and whispering whenever I passed, and she had said she was trying to protect me. As far as I was concerned at that moment, it was enough with the protection. 

"Momma, who is my pappa?" 

As those words escaped my mouth, she looked at me as if I had dropped the whole world on her head. She was taken aback, I knew. It was obvious because she couldn't immediately summon courage to say she was trying to protect me, as usual. 

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25 May 2016

Born This Way - Part 1

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See, in that my neighbourhood, people used to talk. People talked a lot. Somebody's business was everybody's business. Words travelled so fast.

Rumours about the married woman who had several young men to 'service' her, the mechanic who stole a car, and the pastor who impregnated one of the choir girls. All you had to do was step out of your house and by the time you returned, your ears would be trying to recover from being bombarded with stories.

I never liked my neighbourhood, especially the people in it. I had no friends and kept a lot to myself. People used to whisper behind my back as I passed.

When I asked momma why, she said I wasn't yet ready. Ready for what exactly, I asked. She refused to tell me, on the grounds that she was trying to protect me. From who or what, she never said.

In school, the bigger boys bullied me and the other girls booed at me. My teachers never liked me and I never knew why. Thankfully, they never extended their scorn to my academics, as I managed to pass all my subjects.

One day, a girl called me a 'bastard'. I thought it was 'normal'. Unfortunately, 'normal' for me meant insults, boos, bullies, etc. I had learnt how to live above all of them; well, that was what I thought.

Later at home that same day, for an unknown reason, 'bastard' repeatedly rang in my ears. I was gloomy and cried. I lost appetite and I had a fever. When momma returned home from work, she was shocked to see me in such a condition.

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24 May 2016

Hate


You know what no one wants to talk about?
Hate.
I will talk about it. Let me talk about hate.
I know all about hate. It starts in your gut....deep down.
There, it stirs and churns. And then, it rises.
Hate rises, fast and volcanic.
It erupts, hot on the breath.
Your eyes go wild with fire.
You clench your teeth so hard, you think they'll shatter.
I hate you.
Oh, don't tell me you haven't said those words before. I know you have.
We all have.
Probably not orally, but somewhere inside you.
There's at least this one person whose actions you despise.
No, you don't hate the person. You hate the person's character.
I'm sure that's what you'll say. Well, tell you what, hate is hate.

23 May 2016

Stop harassing Us With Dirty Soles

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If not for anything, at least for the love of humanity, you should properly wash the soles of your feet. 

You sit at a place, remove your shoes, cross your legs and expose some very dirty soles of feet to us?

Some of y'all clean only the outer parts of your shoes and 'forget' the inner parts where you'll actually place your soles. That is why, even after washing your soles properly, they end up being dirty. Clean your shoes properly.

If you don't wear shoes in your room, keep the floor clean. Else, when you're done bathing and walk barefooted in the room, the soles become dirty again.

It's a very irritating sight to see dirty soles. I hate it, personally. If your work needs you to walk barefooted and you can't help it, I understand. But if you're all dressed up, sit somewhere, remove your shoes, cross your legs and those soles are very dirty? Oh please!


21 May 2016

Shave! Shave!! Shave!!!

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Seriously, someone needs to educate actors on hygiene. What's with all the armpit hairs? Do they not stink? I hate to watch a movie, swoon over a guy, only for him to lift his arms and I can't help, but shake my head.

I often wonder if that's part of the role or something. No matter how much I think of it, I don't get it, honestly. 

Dude, inasmuch as I love your handsome face and breathtaking body, you need to shave. Shave!!! 


20 May 2016

Message

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Two days ago, I published Amen. Well, what do you know?! The 'amazing' things on social media will never cease.

Today, it's on messages. Some people are simply 'wonderful'. Such people send you messages and you begin to think if they're okay at all. Take 'hi' for an example. Instead of 'hi', you get 'I'. And you don't even know what you ever did wrong to deserve that! 

What is 'I'? Is it very difficult for you to add a 'H'? What will it take from you to type 'Hi'? Are you in a hurry? Does typing 'H' even take time?

Well, I guess I will never know because I will never reply your message. Did I type 'message'? Sorry, I meant I will never reply your alphabetical malfunction. 


18 May 2016

Amen

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Wonders will never end. When I think of the kinds of things we see on social media everyday, I get goosebumps. 

Almost everyday on Facebook, you get added to incessant unnecessary groups which you never bargained for. In those groups you see pictures of impaired people with sentences that say:
"If you scroll and pass without typing Amen, you will die".

What amazes me is how thousands of people just keep on typing "Amen"; it never ends. Do you know what you're saying Amen to? Do you know the meaning of Amen? 

Incase you've forgotten, Amen is usually said at the end of a prayer to confirm affirmation. You go online, see a post with no explanation and you type "Amen". Do you know if the poster is prayer for you to get the disease? 

Hmmmm as for the people always putting up such posts, especially the 'you will die if you don't type Amen' (yes, I really have problem with these people in particular), I've something to say to you: 

Shut up. Are you God?

This sort of domineering prayer wasn't what Jesus Christ taught us. You'd be surprised at the many number of "likes" and comments that such posts get. 

As for you who is always quick to type "Amen", next time before you do so, atleast know what you're confirming affirmation to. 


16 May 2016

When People Disappoint You


One of the situations I hate finding myself in, is when people refuse to do something for me. That thing is always something I don't know how to do.

It tears me apart. It makes me want to go insane. It makes frustrated. It makes me helpless. Badly helpless. 

You know that kind of situation where you need help and someone just throws it at your face - I can do it, but I won't. 

It's always subtle, but loud. It's always indirect, but clear enough for you to read the signs. If the person is extremely bad ass, he/she just tells you straight up - I can do it, but I won't. 

I find myself in these kinds of situations almost everyday. The difference is, now I can handle it. I don't let it get to me. If it does somehow get to me, I let it in. I accept within me that yes, that's something I don't know how to do.

That's always the first step. After that, I challenge myself to learn how to do that thing. If I fail, I keep on trying. While trying, I approach other people who can do it for help. In the end, if I still can't do it, I let it go.

I just let it go. What more can I do? I'm only human. I tell myself that that thing wasn't meant for me to learn and I move on. 

According to my favorite person, life in this body is short. I will not live this short life beating myself up over something I've got no control over. Neither should you. 

People are going to disappoint you. Your expectations aren't always going to be met. You will be let down. A lot. Over and over again. That is life. Move on. 



14 May 2016

Submission Guidelines

Hey :)

So you have an article, story, script or poem that you'd like to be published on this blog? Bravo.

All you have to do is e-mail it to yakadams7@gmail.com including the following:

- One or two links to your social media
- Your name, pen name or real name, the decision is yours.
- A short bio of yourself. Keep it short, less than five sentences.
- A photograph of yourself (Optional)
- A picture that relates to the piece you wrote, with reference to the source you got it from.

There. You see? Not that hard, is it?

If your article or poem will be published, you'll receive an e-mail telling you when it'll be published. Then, you can come around, copy the link and proudly share it with your friends.

Note that only authentic works written by you will be published as plagiarism will not be tolerated.

In the meantime, enjoy the random musings.

I Will Not Marry A Poor Man

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I will not marry a poor man.
Unless I am rich.
Unless there is a means of survival. Not only for both of us, but for our unborn kids.
No, I will not marry a poor man.

13 May 2016

Low Self-Esteem

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A shaky self-confidence or relentless self-doubt stops so many people from pursuing their passions. A fear of failure gnaws at them, leaving them at a standstill and unsatisfied with their lives.